Yours, Mine, Ours
by Taintedpromises
Summary: Based on the film. One house, one wedding, two familes, two deperately in love parents, twenty kids at war with each other. How the hell do they expect this to work out for the best?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The storyline is a challenge on Chocolate covered Strawberries board by gidgetgirl.

Requirements:

A discussion about what exactly constitutes incest  
Babysitting duty  
The kids trying to split their parents up

Buffy heard the screaming of her siblings and knew that her worst nightmare had come true. It was Monday morning once again. She hated getting up, and since she was the oldest, and Beatrice, or Bot as they all called her, was no help at all really apart from making sandwiches, the responsibility landed on her to help her father, Rupert Giles, or in fact, do it herself. Allan, also known as Doyle might help, if she promised to get him the key to the houses alcohol store.

As she got up she pondered about asking Tara, her cousin turned foster sister. About seven years ago, her Uncle and Aunt had died in a car crash. She never talked about them much. Neither did Wesley, her brother, they were both quite quiet. But she always remembered them being strangely quiet, even when they were still cousins. Tara was taken in when she was seven and Wesley had just turned five. Buffy never really remembered much about her Uncle or Aunt, even when she would spend the whole day with them.

She walked over tiredly to her mirror and looked at herself. She looked just as she felt, like crap. Her hair was in a mess that would take really care to fix, care which she didn't have time for. Her clothes were crumpled from the position she was sleeping in and her eyes were filled with sleep. She checked her watch. It read 6.30; she had three minutes to get in the shower before someone who actually wanted in got there before her, then about fifteen minutes to herself before the hell raising squad got up. Well, the rest of it.

"Xander, give Fred back her doll or you shall feel the wrath of all the forces of my army!" called Illyria. The mastermind of the family, and she was only almost four years old. Only really friendly with her identical twin, Winifred, or, to anyone else, Fred and Wesley for some reason unknown to anyone.

"She melted my army men!" Xander called. Unfortunately, Fred had a habit of carrying science experiments on people and their personal items. Especially Xander, but they really didn't get along with Xander. Buffy always thought it was because he had managed to convince Fred that the sand box was going to eat her. She heard a crash from down stairs; Bot was downstairs making breakfast. She already knew she was up; she has to share a room with her. Wesley walked out of his and Xander's room.

"Hi, Wesley," Fred said sweetly. Wesley flashed a small smile at her. Buffy was watching it outside her door; she imagined they were coming to ask her for help. They usually did.

"Wesley, man, help me out here." Xander pleaded. Wesley looked as if he rolled his eyes, Buffy couldn't actually make out form behind his glasses. He pushed past him and walked straight into the bathroom. Xander sighed as Illyria and Fred started to yell once again, Illyria more so. Buffy quickly rushed through before the rest of the house got up.

"Oh right guys; we can talk about this after breakfast. Please give Fred back her doll. Ok, now go and see what Bot has cooked now." Xander reluctantly gave over and they all ran downstairs. She was lucky she got to them that fast, or everyone else could have woken up. Usually Doyle wouldn't appear until the last minute, eat someone else's breakfast and run out the door. Usually it was Bot's. All he did was tell her to look one way and he would grab her toast or whatever was on her plate. She never did realise it was him. It was amusing the fifteen year old always getting away with trouble.

She walked past all of their rooms, just to make sure they were all ok. She always did it; it was her morning ritual. Dawn was fast asleep in her room, which she shared with Tara, who wasn't in there, she must have been downstairs. She didn't dare open Doyle's door, he was asleep and generally violent when he was woken up. She briefly poked her head around the door around the other twin's bedroom. This was a dangerous move. Willow, the nice twin, was sleeping; she looked like a peaceful little angel. She was when she was awake anyway. Unlike her twin, Victoria Wales, a.k.a V.W. V.W was trouble maker and loved doing it. She died her red hair reddish black not so long. And the moment Illyria saw it, she turned hers blue. God knows where a nine year old and a three year old got hair dye from.

She was sleeping, but with an evil grin on her face. Probably a plan to outdo either her or any other of their siblings. She was always setting traps for three people. Buffy, Bot and Illyria. Illyria and V.W were not friends. Not even close at all. They were almost like enemies, it was a little disturbing. They were always coming up with plans for the others downfall. When you needed help on tricking/scheming against/humiliating someone, you either went to Illyria or V.W. It was usually down to a preference. But Buffy always thought that if they worked together they would make quite a good team, but never suggested it. No, that would be like suicide.

Illyria and Fred's room was empty, as was Xander's room and Wesley's. She knew they were all downstairs. Now she would find out the one thing she didn't know. Was her father up?

She crept slowly round the corner, just in case he wasn't, and poked her head around the door once again. He wasn't there. Which meant one of two things, he was up and downstairs, or he had left for the library he ran at the local High school which her, Bot and Doyle attended. Dawn and Tara would be up next year, but till then, they were still in middle school with Wesley. She smiled and walked back to her room, to get ready for another school day.

The toaster popped with four pieces and as Bot reached to grab them, Illyria, Fred, Xander and Wesley grabbed them first. She stared at the empty toaster for a moment before shrugging her shoulders and putting more bread in for her breakfast. _At least they are eating their breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day_. Their dad had left; Bot was the only one up. He said to tell Buffy he would work late but would hopefully have some great news. Sometimes she wondered why it was always tell Buffy this and tell Buffy that. But she didn't think it too much.

"Morning Bot!"

"Hi Dawn! Hi Tara!" Tara merely waved. Bot walked up to Dawn, blocking her way to the fridge, and therefore her breakfast bar. Bot flung her arms around her and she widens her eyes as for Tara to help her. She just smiled shyly. As Bot retreated and was about to hug her she quickly raised our arms.

"Em… Sorry Bot, but I think I hear the bus. Dawn?"

"Just coming Tara." She grabbed her bar and then Tara's arm as they ran out the door. They were both very close, with Tara being so shy and quiet and Dawn being… well Dawn, they worked out well together. Bot turned as she heard the door slam shut to see Willow bouncing down the stairs.

"Hi Willow. What's up with you?" She never did actually understand slang much, but she tried. Everyone though this was quite amusing, some cute some thought.

"The science fair is today. I'm so excited. I'm going to go get my project just now and get ready for the bus. I just know this year I will win!" She was sweet when she talked about science; she usually got excited about anything like that. Banging could be heard and she guessed that V.W was finally up. She grunted morning to her and sat down at the table across from Illyria who was giving her a death glare, which she gladly returned. As Buffy walked down the stairs the bus tooted. Wesley ran down stairs and out the door. A second on went, Willow ran from down stairs and V.W and Xander went out the door.

"Hey Bot, look at that." Doyle finally appeared and pointed to a corner of the room.

"Look at what? I don't see anything. Hey, where's my breakfast. Doyle, where did you get that toast?" Doyle and Buffy smirked.

"Come on Bot, I think its time we go to school." Buffy said. She could not believe that her twin was still falling for that one. Illyria and Fred jumped up and ran out the door, both racing for shotgun. Bot just grabbed some bread and started to eat that and followed her sisters. Doyle laughed once more, took a bite of his/Bot's toast and strolled out to the car. Buffy sighed. This house was busy enough, imagine if they had more.

A/N: Hope that was ok? I was just writing the introduction to it. Nothing has really happened yet, just wait till it does. I made a slight change where Illyria and V.W (based on the character Vamp Willow in case someone didn't know) get along. I thought it would be better to have them as enemies. Plus it is easier for me too write like that.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Yours, Mine, Ours

Author: Taintedpromises

Rating: T

Genre: Drama/Angst

Summary: Based on the film. One house, one wedding, two families, two desperately in love parents, twenty kids at war with each other. How the hell do they expect this to work out for the best?

Note: Response to GidgetGirl's challenge on chocolate covered strawberries board. This chapter is when they are all at home after school the same day. This is the other family now. I know that is not Cordelia's middle names but it made sense for me to put them in. Just thought it sounded good.

"Enough, Cordelia. I don't care if your nails are still wet. I couldn't care less if some maniac came in and ripped your bloody arms off. You are going to come down and set the table now!" William Calendar, who had insisted he was to be called Spike since he was ten, yelled from the bottom of the stairs. It was too much to do everything around here. There seemed to be only one sane person in this house, and that was him. Angel and Darla, his only older siblings, who were the only twins in the family, helped out, but were severely broody. When not doing all the things that they have to do when their mom goes out, they brooded, a lot!

"But Spike…" She whined from upstairs.

"Cordelia Grace Adeline Calendar, get your ass down here or I will come up and drag you down here, head first." He heard no movement from upstairs. "And will break every nail on both of your hands." Cordelia came running down the stairs. Spike grinned to himself. His threats were always used to make things happen in this family.

"Spike!" called Darla. Shivers were sent up his spine. She had certain different voices. And the one she was using, the 'Don't-mess-with-me-because-I'm-very-pissed-off-at-something-and-will-tear-you-limb-from-limb-if-you-don't-do-what-I-say' voice, wasn't his personal favourite. Mainly because he knew that she would actually tear him limb from limb. Or tell their mother, who he was always in trouble with. Not his fault though, mostly. Nowadays he had been good, but it seemed the blame always fell on him anyway.

He turned and saw her standing in the door way, holding his youngest sister, Harmony, in her arms. Her blonde hair was short, her lips bright red. She looked gorgeous to anyone but her siblings, but deadly at the same time. She looked older than 18 years old. She was clearly angry at something. She guessed it was her boy toy, Lindsey MacDonald. She was always mad at him for some reason or another. But he was desperately in love with her. It was quite sad, Spike always thought. The little girl in her arms, Harmony, and talking to herself, through the doll in her arms. She was plastered with, what looked like, either Darla, Cordelia or their Mom's make up. Her trademark pink, glittery feather boa was wrapped around her neck.

"Find Oz, Dru and Faith." she said plainly before turning back to the kitchen. He turned to search the living room, mocking her distastefully. He heard the soft sound of a guitar and knew he had found Oz. He was strumming away while sitting on the cream coloured sofa. Spike saw someone else sitting in front of him, swaying side to side, but not in time to the music. He smiled to himself. Little Drusilla was just in her own world. Oz didn't mind playing for her anyway.

"Dru," Spike said quietly. Drusilla seemed to come out of her trance and jump up on Spike. She was extremely fond of her three oldest brothers and sisters. She clung to them. People didn't know why though. They thought she would be more interested in people her own age. But these were people who didn't know Drusilla. Drusilla knew she was safe with them. It had all started when she got lost in a department store when she was only three. Someone had tried to take her away from her family, and had almost gotten away with it. They were caught of course, and that had caused some traumatic stress in her mind. She was not a normal seven year old. Not that any of this family was normal.

"Roar!" He heard someone else cry. He turned to see the five year old hurricane running towards him, her teeth making it pretty obvious she was planning to bite his leg. His arms were occupied with Drusilla so he had no way to protect himself from the storm that was Faith. She ran past a corner and out of a wall, she was picked up and restrained by someone much largers arms. She kicked and screamed as Angel held her in place and turned to Spike.

"I'm telling you, that girl needs a muzzle." He said.

"Hey, I'm not the one you need to convince. It's mom. Last night, she came up to me and started to bash my leg in with a shovel," Angel said while taking her away. They both walked into the kitchen/dining room to see the rest of the family, minus their mother. Spike finally knew why Darla was in that kind of mood. Anya was sitting in the kitchen, talking. Recently, she had gotten her first period. She made it clear so everyone knew. She had always just started sex ed at school. It seemed like now she was obsessed with it. Well, sex and domination of the house. But that latter wasn't that high up on her priority list. She was never as bad as his ex's family was. There were two of them, constantly at war with each other, and they were both ten times worse than Anya. He had liked that girl, a lot. But, he made an unfortunate choice of dating his brothers ex.

Buffy Giles. She wasn't anything special to much of the other boys in school, apart from the Calendar boys. Angel and his relationship, not the greatest in the beginning, took a major downfall. He ended up dumping her because he felt she was still hung up on his brother. Which he still believed she was. The relationship between the brothers never really repaired itself, but they found common ground. Trying to take care of this family. Recently, their mother had been dating this other man. She appeared to really like him, more than she had anyone else she had been out with before. But the older ones found it very disturbing, having another man round at their house, having their mom come home whistling and in a really good mood, clearly meaning she 'got some' according to Anya. The fact that was worse was that it was Rupert Giles. Buffy's dad!

"Hello!" Called their mother from the front door. They had all just sat down for their dinner and she just had to walk in the door. Spike hoped that she wasn't expecting food because he knew that either Darla or Angel, whoever cooked, would be pissed at that. And it wasn't like they needed another reason to brood about. She seemed too happy. It was abnormal.

"What?" Cordelia asked bluntly.

"What do you mean?" She asked light heartedly. It was scaring the children. Their mother was never like this, not even when she came back from the Giles's. Something was wrong.

"You're all…sing-song. I don't like it." Cordy stated once again. The others were thankful she was talking about it. Because none of them had plans of mentioning it. "It's probably going to give you wrinkles."

"Ok, I do have some news. I can't keep pretending." She stuck out her left hand, and as their gazes fell upon it, Angel, Darla, Spike, Cordy and Anya's eyes widen. Oz, Dru, Faith and Harmony kept quiet, not understanding so far. "I'm getting married!"

Author's Note: Finally had to break the news. You'll find out everyone's reactions to it soon enough. Also, I am planning on bringing the two familys together very soon. So Read and Review!


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